After 13 years of marriage I will undoubtedly say that I have grown tremendously as a human being and I am still growing daily. I am quite certain that I would not have grown the way that I have without being married and for this I am grateful. Still, most people including myself get married with visions of how the other person will make their life better. Most people assume that marriage is going to fix feelings of loneliness, rejection, or abandonment and they now have a best friend whom they can spend time with and build a beautiful future. But as soon as they start to feel that they are not getting what they expected, this is where the trouble starts. Like a child, they will become uncooperative, vindictive, unloving, and selfish. Very seldom does a person get married and ask the questions, “How do I now add to this person's life in such a way that they will reach the full potential that they're supposed to reach? How can I add to their life in such a way that they will bond with me fully knowing that I am their partner and biggest supporter whether or not they know how to give that to me in return?” The desire for giving this type of love and service can only come from one source… God.
God’s definition of love can be found in I Corinthians 13: 4-7 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.In short, love seeks to serve first. In this unconditional service, we in turn teach our spouse how to love us. When you adopt a mindset of ministry and service in your marriage, you begin to see your husband as a soul that you are responsible for anchoring towards God, and their flaws are now areas in which you are to minister.I have had countless conversations with women who desired to divorce their husband within the first seven years of marriage, and I always asked them the same questions: Did he have these traits before you married him? When you stood at the altar declaring your unconditional love for him, did you know that he was self-centered, stubborn, untrustworthy, vindictive, lazy, sneaky, insecure, or unstable in his emotions? Did you get a chance to observe him in his familial relationships or friendships before signing up for “Til Death Do Us Part”? Did you remember the part about “For Better or Worse” or did you just sign up for the “Better” part?Excerpt from "Marriage Is A Beautiful Thing, But I Wish I Would've Known..." -Author, Tara Boddie